What I've Learned From Homer Simpson

via MSN Lifestyles

1. When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.
2. There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.
3. Kids are like monkeys, only louder.
4. If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.
5. There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis.
6. The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.
7. There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.
8. I never ate an animal I didn't like.

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tags: Humor, Simpsons, Homer+Simpsons, Life