NPR : Excess Carbon Dioxide Makes Plants 'Sweat' Less
A few weeks ago I pointed out the latest research that showed plants are one of the leading producers of methane, a highly efficient greenhouse gas. Not satisfied with that evil effort plants have also changed their behavior in the face of higher CO2 levels. They sweat less. This allows more fresh water to flow into the ocean. Now here is the linkage that proves the plants evil plans:
1. Sun begin burning at a higher intensity warming the earth.
2. Plants increase their methane production trapping the heat.
3. To escape heat people begin using more air conditioning, and driving to the beach. This produces more CO2. Also industrial activity must be increased to build new cars, and air conditioners and refine gas, this also produces more CO2.
4. Plants detect CO2 increase and allow more water to reach ocean disrupting currents. At the same time because of the warming mentioned before the Greenland icesheet is also melting assisting in the disruption of the gulfstream.
5. Europe cools
6. People increase use of heaters. CO2 levels increase.
7. More plants are planted to function as CO2 traps.
8. Cycle of 1 thru 7 continues
9. New Ice Age ensues.
10. Many plants die because of icy conditions, humans starve.
11. Climate stabilizes new plant masters rule the earth with an iron fist (or leaf).
Their plane is diabolical in it's simplicity. Fortunately it's not to late to stop the madness. Clear cut a forest now. It is our only hope.
Note: To the satire impaired - I don't really think this is an evil plan by plants to exterminate the human race. I am just pointing out that there are a number of non-human factors (i.e. Solar activity and plant physiology) contributing to global warming. In my opinion these factors probably have at least as much to do with climate change as man's impact through industrial activity. Besides I am sure that the plants want to keep some humans around as slaves like ants do with aphids.
related: Bush's Chat With Novelist Alarms Environmentalists
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